welcome
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be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Title:
Comments:
Time really flies.
It's been 10 months since I first walked into PJC, suspicious and cynical.
During this time, I've fallen in love with the school that has given me so many wonderful memories. I fell in love with the wonderful people. I fell in love with hockey, with debate. I would have defended PJC to my death. But now...
I'm exhausted. I'm depressed. I'm disappointed.
I'm a million and one negative feelings.
Tell me, how did this love affair turn so wrong so fast?
I'm not saying that I don't love hockey, or debates or all the wonderful people I've met here, I still do. But I'm tired to fighting a losing battle. I'm tired of the nonchalant attitude that we're faced with every single day. I'm tired of all this hypocrisy that surrounds us. I'm tired of people saying one thing but doing another. I could go on and on and on but for the fact that I'm tired to writing this list too.
Anyhow.
I had a debate today. A motion full of impressive-sounding words and terms. It wasn't much of a success but I had fun. I had fun fooling around and teasing people, I had fun just being around them. It made me wonder, how can those who say they care so much do so little? How can anyone not like these fun-loving, quick-witted individuals? How can one claim to be supportive and yet be nothing more than a shadow in the background?
Strangely I'm not mad. Honest, I'm not.
It's just that kind of a feeling like you've expected it all along. Like soandso's just like that and we can't expect anything better from it. Is it? or are we wrong?
It's an irony that so many people don't do what they preach.
I mean, it's so easy to preach morals and values and principles and all of that pretty-sounding concepts isn't it? But I guess it's not so easy to actually be any of the above. It must be pretty darn difficult the way I see it, with so many people, so many wise-sounding people failing to act like what they preach. It ain't just anyone either, it's those people that we've been looking up to the whole of our lives, however long or short that may have been.
I ain't looking to be disrespectful or anything like that but I'm just wondering, what the hell went wrong. Was it me? us? Or was it you? Were we mistaken in thinking that we would be fine as long as we placed our trust in you? Were we wrong to believe the fancy tales and promises you spoke of so often?
Were we too naive?
Or were we just...stupid?
Come tomorrow, we'll find out if we were wrong to believe in you.
Somehow, my conviction in your morality has faded to a barely existant gleam of light in a room overwhelmed by darkness. Are you going to tear down the curtains and show us the light? or are you going to board up the windows and plunge us into the darkness?
I'm skeptical but I choose to believe in miracles.
